A far ra ra rar holiday.

I'm not sure how to spell the Chinese botchery of fa la la la la that occurs on A Christmas Story (you know the scene at the Chinese restaurant), however, I do understand the meaning of the added r (pander, bananar, Chiner) and now, what it means to be in China for the Christmas season.

The P.R.C. is a religious wasteland, that is, it's almost entirely devoid of religion. Sure, there are a few monks, Buddhist temples, but by and large, they're tourist traps and the population as a whole avoids the mess of picking a religion. It's not taboo to talk about, unless you're speaking about the two largest fractions of religion that have a tumultuous past with the government of China. Then, you're questioning the government and you don't want to do that. Those being the Muslim Uighurs of northwestern China and the Buddhist Tibetans.

For these reasons, I expected Christmas to come and go, without a Santa or snowflake to recognize it. China isn't Christian, I would have understood and respected that. In Zhengzhou many times I'm the first non-Chinese person they've met and I'm an oddity they don't get. How would they understand Christmas?

I first noticed it on the first of December, a Santa hat. As I was purchasing my yogurt at Zendo, a mini-market near my apartment where I regularly go, I looked up to pay. Atop the cashier's black hair sat a red velvety hat.

At the time, I thought it had been a unique exception and I believe I acknowledged it with a weird smile. Huh? Since then, however, it's been an explosion of confused yuletide spirit. "Merry Christmas" has popped up on almost every available window store front. On one display, Santa's riding a jet airplane exclaiming, ho, ho, ho. I've seen more than one life-size Santa shaking it. Most of all, large wire Christmas trees have made company with the trash on the street. It's almost frightening, really. I'm not sure if I want to welcome it or curse it. It's not that they have it so wrong, but because they have it almost admittedly right (in the Chinese landscape). I must consent that its my terrible egotistical inclinations that don't want it that way. They can't have Christmas; they don't understand it!

In reality, Christmas in China, even if it is Zhengzhou, shouldn't have shocked me. China has embraced the commercialism of the new world to the upteemth degree. They are pioneers, the creators of it all. The world's factories claim the Chinese countryside. Look at the t-shirt you're wearing, unless you purposely purchased something that was USA made, I think we both would be surprised if "Made in China" wasn't stamped onto its tag.

When I first started teaching, I would ask, "How was your weekend? What did you do?" Every time the answer remained the same, "Shopping." I wasn't sure if it was the limitation of their vocabulary so I would press further, but after several months and many classes, it still hasn't changed. China's economy is booming. You don't have to be in China to know this. However, my relocation has shown me the great depth of what that sentence means. Clothing boutiques swallow up entire blocks in every direction; sometimes I wonder how they survive, but then I see the masses and hear their answers. The Yuan is accelerating in value and while the Chinese have it, they love to spend it by shopping. Exporting a shopping holiday like Christmas is the perfect time to celebrate and exploit that.

Yet, my opinion remains unchanged. Christmas stripped of its core values, family, friends, and yes, Jesus, is a Christmas that I don't want and I hope never seizes the U.S., even as much as I do love the presents.

In China, the magic of the season fades quite quickly. Fa rar rar ra rar.